This is my first day sober. I have decided to give up drinking. I drink several times a week and I always drink to excess. I generally consume six to nine beers, sometimes more when i come home from work. When I drink more, I stay up until 3 a.m.
It has become completely unmanageable. I miss work once a week, sometimes twice because I cannot function with a hangover. I generally don't start to feel normal until 6:00 p.m. the next day. The other day I drank mojitos and beers. I was so drunk I fell off our back porch onto the ground. The severely bruised my eg, scraped my hands and knees, and had a cut on my back. I missed work. I swore that would be the last time as I have done hundreds of times before.
Then I drank again last night, I drank ten beers, and was up until 3 a.m. again. I missed work again. I am so disgusted with myself and am beginning to realize the severity of my problem. I can see what my future will be - job loss, a failed marriage, losing my children. This is what I think will happen if I do not stop.
Today is the first day of my sobriety. It is hard for me to go to meetings, so I hope this blog will serve as an outlet and a way to keep myself accountable.
I want to stop drinking so desperately.
